Mommin’ Ain’t Easy Y’all

Let me just start out by saying this post is not meant to be poetically written. I want my blog to be as real and authentic as possible. I want to put myself out there to try to help and connect with other moms. I know that someone has to feel the same way I do! I am going to be blunt and just say it, I am having a HARD time. Like, a really hard time. I get stuck in a space sometimes where I just don’t feel like I am being the best mom that I can be. I wish I had more grace and patience when it comes to being a mom.

I find myself struggling the most with balance. How do you juggle working full-time, being a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc?!?! It is crazy hard, I would even dare say impossible. I find that often times when I’m at work I just crave being at home with my daughter. But when I’m at home, all I can think about is the list of chores that are piling up. As a result, I am unable to truly enjoy the time that I have with Kennedy. Guilt is also something I struggle with. I feel guilty for working full-time. Even though, I know that this is what will provide the best life for my daughter. I feel guilty that I don’t always give her 100% of my attention, because I’m tired and stretched too thin. I feel guilty when I get frustrated with K, when she isn’t going along with the plan that I have set up for the day.

Kennedy is also a nonsleeper. That girl will fight sleep until the death. Unfortunately, this allows for mommy to have very little “me” time. I know that as mother’s we are expected to be selfless and give up most things for our children. But I MISS my “me” time, I really do. I miss sitting down and reading magazines with a hot cup of coffee. These days my pile of unread magazines grows bigger by the month, and my cups of coffee are usually cold by the time I get to drink it. I miss being able to read a good book. Heck, as much as I love dry shampoo, I even miss finding the time to wash my hair more than once a week.

Honestly, I feel a little lonely. I’m not sure why? I have my own mom, mom friends, my husband. But I just feel like no one quite understands. I find it hard to describe the way I feel, and why I feel this way to others in a successful manner. I don’t feel like a “natural” when it comes to being a mom. I am a pretty confident person in other areas of my life. When it comes to being a mom I just feel so unsure. I am constantly questioning myself as a mother. I know that I am probably being ridiculously too hard on myself. I just want to be the best mom I can be, the best version of myself for my daughter. She deserves that.

I try really hard not to focus on the negative. I know that I have a very blessed life and I am so grateful. But sometimes life’s challenges get the better of me. I find it helps when I try to take it day by day, and not let the bad days bleed into the next. But, sometimes it is hard not to feel overwhelmed. I know there are other moms who have to feel the same way that I do. If you’re reading this, I just want you to know that you are not alone. I say to you, and to myself: When the self doubt and exhaustion creeps in you are an awesome momma, and you are doing a great job. We are not perfect, so don’t forget to forgive yourself on those tough days. Hang in there, and continue to do the best you can. We are all in this together.

Xoxo Brit

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Mommin’ Ain’t Easy Y’all

  1. Cecily says:

    Perfectly said! Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and even if you’re doing everything you can, it never feels like enough! You are not alone in your feelings! And always remember that your daughter loves you more than anything, even on your worst days she is still going to think you’re all that and a bad of chips!

    Like

  2. Melody says:

    Though I am by no means an expert (hey I’ve only been in the game for 3 years) and this may sound cliche but you need YOU time. You can only give 100% when you’re at 100%. Trying to give your all while you run on empty because you’re pulled in a million directions (both because of actual obligations and stress we create in our heads) is not helpful to anyone; your family included. Trust me when I say it could only get worse (it’s been 5 days since I’ve washed my hair and I now buy dry shampoo by the case). So please try and remember you were an individual before you were a wife and mother. Don’t feel guilty for reading K one of your magazines instead of The Very Hungry Caterpillar for the 18th time that hour or watching a DVRed show while she naps when you feel you “should” be doing something else or asking someone to watch her just so you can workout, get your hair done, or even sleep. Do what fulfills you and makes you happy so in return you can continue to devote your all to those around you!

    Like

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